By Janetta Burkes

When my son Ta’Zhon started preschool, he’d pull his nuckie out of his mouth and hand it to me so nobody would see him sucking on it. He sucked that thing so long he would talk like something was laying on his tongue and poke his lips far out to use the letters “o” and “p.” 

But he was always so smart. I called him my “dangerous with a brain” child. He could always make good grades and figure things out. But he also burnt up like three microwaves trying to make noodles without water. Two packs of noodles every night before bed. 

When I found out I was pregnant with Ta’Zhon, the doctor wanted me to have a medical abortion because they said he would have Down Syndrome and possibly be missing some body parts. Something in me didn’t believe it, so I switched my hospital at 8 ½ months pregnant. Finally, when I was overdue, doctors asked me when I wanted to get induced and I picked May 1st. I said it was my birthday and it would be easier to remember.

Ta’Zhon loved playing sports. He’d play basketball, football, baseball – and even ping pong, which I found out from the recreation center staff after he was gone. His nickname was “Strong.” 

Ta’Zhon always smelled of the outside to me. And he loved being clean. That boy would tie up the downstairs bathroom for an hour twice a day taking a bath. He’d use all the hot water. One time, I told him to run my bathwater first and it was nothing but hot — so hot I burnt my feet getting in. 

At first Ta’Zhon was supposed to go to Glenville High School. Then he got a paper in the mail for Ginn Academy. I found out right before school started that he needed a suit and jacket that cost so much money. I was nine months pregnant. He wasn’t sure about Ginn. He didn’t want to be at an all-boys school. But I told him to try it out. At least let me have the baby and get out of the hospital, I told him. 

He liked the school. It gave him many opportunities. He did a two-year internship at Lincoln Electric. Then he went to Tri-C to study manufacturing. He had a future all worked out. 

I remember when I joked with Ta’Zhon about me walking across the stage with him to get his diploma. 

He was murdered eight days before his graduation. 

So me and his father, Erby, had to walk up and get the diploma he had worked so hard for. It broke my heart. It was so bittersweet. 

In the crowd your brothers and sisters all wore “Ta’Zhon Strong” shirts. We cheered with balloons, and your picture was on many of the cars that day. 

Ginn Academy Class of 2020 showed so much love for you. It was a happy moment, but sad because you wasn’t there with us. 

I will never be the same without Ta’Zhon. I am learning how to cope with you not being here with us. You never got to meet your twin sisters. 

Your Uncle Terone misses teasing you about basketball and going to the game with you. Your siblings, De’Von, Ta’Vion, Ja’Ionna, Ja’Seionna, Ja’Seion, Ka’Laya and Ka’Lia really miss and love you. 

Photos by Michael Indriolo